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Take Me Out to the Ball Game written by Sherry Marshall Characters: Vicki and Susan - two teenage/college girls Ted - womanizer type their age or a little older (Vicki and Susan are getting settled in the stands for a ball game. Setting is four chairs facing the audience. The girls have ”#1 fan hands” to wave at the game. Susan wears a WWJD bracelet and holds a game program. Both are wearing ball caps.) (both standing cheering at a ball game, waving fan hands) SUSAN and VICKI: (both singing and swaying together) So it’s 1…2…3 strikes you’re out at the old…ball…game! (both laugh and sit down) SUSAN: Thanks for inviting me to the game, Vicki. VICKI: Thanks for coming. Our church youth group had an extra ticket…I can’t think of anyone I would rather go to the game with. SUSAN: So, the rest of your church’s youth group is here too? VICKI: Yeah…most of them. You want to meet them after the game? We’re having a hot dog tailgate party later? SUSAN: Why not…sounds like fun. You know, my folks are thinking of changing churches. I’m trying to convince them to join yours. VICKI: Hey yeah! Then you could be in the youth group with me! We’d have a lot of fun! I know I’d enjoy it more if you were able to go to the functions with me. Everyone is really nice…you’ll like them. SUSAN: Everyone? VICKI: OK…MOST. You’ll like most of them. (laughs nervously) You know there’s always ONE bad apple…but you can’t let that spoil the WHOLE bunch! (Ted enters, sees the two women and gains a more confident stride.) TED: Well, hello ladies! VICKI: (immediately shows her displeasure as she turns her face away…under her breath) Speaking of rotten apples…( she then turns back with a fake smile) Hi Ted. TED: (nods towards Vicki with a grin) Vic. (Ted takes a second look at Susan who is giggling at Vicki’s reaction while flipping through the game program. He puffs out his chest and strides over to her.) TED: I didn't believe in angels until I saw you just now. (Susan stares out wide-eyed, not looking at him) VICKI: (rolls her eyes) Oh wow! What a pick-up line! TED: (ignoring Vicki) Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven? SUSAN: (looks at him from the corner of her eye) Um…no? TED: So…do you believe in divine appointment? Because God told me to come to this youth function today and meet the woman of my dreams. VICKI: Oh Ted! What are you talking about? You’re at all the functions! TED: Vicki, do you mind? You’re messing up a perfectly lovely conversation, here! SUSAN: Conversation? (play hit and crowd cheer sound effect) ALL: (all look out at game…combination) YEAH! HOME RUN! Alright! VICKI: (without missing a beat…as she speaks past Susan, Susan sits quickly to get out of her way) Yeah, I DO mind! This is my friend Susan, and I’d prefer it if you didn’t scare her away from attending youth group functions like you did Annie! SUSAN: Annie? VICKI: (turns to her quickly) Never mind. TED: Oh, you are cold. (turns to Susan) Is it a sin that you stole my heart? (Susan is appalled but speechless) The Bible says "Give drink to those who are thirsty, and feed the hungry"…so how about dinner? SUSAN: You know, I’ve seen your approach…now let's see your departure. (turns back to the program) TED: (laughing) There you go! Now you’re opening up…cool! So, is this seat empty? VICKI: (thinking quickly) Yes…it’s…um…Susan’s boyfriend! He went to get us Cokes. (Susan looks at Vicki bewildered) Maybe you saw him…really big tall football player with muscles? SUSAN: Boyfriend? TED: (realizing she is fibbing and sitting next to Susan) You’re such a kidder! (turns Susan) So…what do you think Paul meant by "Greet everyone with a kiss"? (Susan rests her head on her hand so that her face is pointed away from Ted…she is wearing a disgusted look.) TED: (sees the WWJD bracelet on her wrist) Nice bracelet. ‘What would Jesus date’? I mean "do". (Vicki rolls her eyes again and looks away fuming, folding her arms.) TED: Did I tell you that my uncle was a personal friend of Billy Graham? Says the body is like a temple…and you honey are built upon the rock! SUSAN: (hits him with her fan hand) Well, there are no services today, buddy. TED: (not taking the hint) So…what are your plans for tonight? Feel like a Bible study? SUSAN: (starts to stand) I don’t think so Ted, it's just not…God's will—you and I. VICKI: (stands and takes Susan’s arm pulling her away) Why don’t we sit somewhere else…like by the youth pastor down there…there’s plenty of room. We could grab a bite to eat to take to our seats. TED: Eat? Hey! I can drive us to Sonic after the game. We can just ditch that lame tail gate party. I’ve got the coupons if you got the cash! SUSAN: Let’s get outta here before I feel led to “lay hands” on this jerk! (makes gesture with her fist into her palm…Vicki then pulls Susan offstage.) TED: Well, that went better than the last one. (Spots another woman in opposite direction where Susan and Vicki exited and starts that direction…) Well hello there! You know, I didn’t believe in angels until I saw you just now! (back to the scripts page)