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Can you Beat That? Adapted from Bob Snook's Script Site ANNOUNCER --- (theme song is playing) Live from the streets paved with gold, it's time for another edition of CAN YOU BEAT THAT? (fade theme song) starring your host…heeeeeeeeere’s Gabriel!! (person holds up “applause” sign) HOST -- Thank you, thank you, thank you very much. Thank you, Michael! Hi, and welcome to CAN YOU BEAT THAT? the game show where you can bid for your eternal rewards with your good deeds. Michael, please introduce tonight's contestants for CAN YOU BEAT THAT? ANNOUNCER --- Well Gabe, our first contestant is a housewife from Fort Worth, Texas who describes her self as a new Christian… meet Maggie Cartright. (person holds up “applause” sign) Maggie recently died in an automobile accident. Our second contestant is Francine Smith, who was very active with the ladies ministry at her church in Dallas, Texas. (person holds up “applause” sign) FRANCINE --- (arrogantly and proudly) Oh . . . no, I was the executive associate lay pastor for the women’s ministry and community outreach program. ANNOUNCER --- Uh, yeah . . . Francine recently died of a freak sewing accident from sewing garments for orphans. HOST -- Francine and Maggie, welcome to CAN YOU BEAT THAT? MAGGIE - Thank you, Gabriel. FRANCINE --- Pleasure to be here, Gabriel. HOST -- Well, let's get started. For 10 points, our first category is.... BIBLE KNOWLEDGE. (Maggie quickly buzzes in) Maggie! MAGGIE - I know the names of all the books of the New Testament. HOST – Francine, CAN YOU BEAT THAT for 20 points? FRANCINE --- I know the names of all 66 books in the Bible. HOST -- Maggie, CAN YOU BEAT THAT for 30 points? MAGGIE - I have memorized 12 Bible verses. HOST -- Francine, CAN YOU BEAT THAT for 40 points? FRANCINE --- I memorized 175 Bible verses. HOST -- Maggie, CAN YOU BEAT THAT for 50 points? MAGGIE - (unsure) I go to Bible study on Wednesday nights. (foghorn and person holds up “awwwww” sign) HOST – I’m sorry, Maggie. Our judges are signaling that just going to Bible study is not Bible knowledge. Francine wins the first round with 40 points! (person holds up “applause” sign) Now, let’s take a few minutes to get to know our contestants. (approaches Maggie) So Maggie, you’re a new Christian? (Maggie nods) Tell us a little about that. MAGGIE: (enthusiastically) Well Gabriel, a good friend of mine invited me to her church a few months ago. I was really touched by the experience I had in the service…it was awesome! I’ve been reading the Bible and attending church ever since. HOST: That’s wonderful Maggie! We’re glad you’re a contestant with us today. (turns to Francine) So Francine, you’re with the ladies ministry at your church. Tell us a little about that. FRANCINE: (haughtily) Yes Gabriel… my grandmother was the pastor for the women’s ministry, my mother was the associate lay pastor for the women’s ministry, and I was the executive associate lay pastor for the women’s ministry and community outreach program. Our church has been prominent in Dallas for years…practically a historic landmark. HOST: Well Francine, that’s very interesting indeed. Now let’s see how you both do in round 2. For 10 points our next category is.... CHARITY. (Francine buzzes in) Francine! FRANCINE --- I contribute to the American Cancer Society. HOST -- Maggie, CAN YOU BEAT THAT for 20 points? MAGGIE - I volunteer 10 hours a week at the community hospital. HOST -- Francine, CAN YOU BEAT THAT for 30 points? FRANCINE --- I volunteer 20 hours per week at the homeless shelter. HOST -- Maggie, CAN YOU BEAT THAT for 40 points? MAGGIE - I tithe 10% to my church. HOST -- Francine, CAN YOU BEAT THAT for 50 points? FRANCINE --- I tithe 15%. HOST -- Maggie, CAN YOU BEAT THAT for 60 points? MAGGIE - (unsure) Pass. (foghorn and person holds up “awwwww” sign) HOST -- I'm sorry, Maggie, Francine wins the second round with 50 points for a total of 90 points. (person holds up “applause” sign) OK…again, for 10 points our next category is....EVANGELISM. (Maggie buzzes in) Maggie! MAGGIE - I passed out Christian literature at a local shopping center. HOST -- Francine, CAN YOU BEAT THAT for 20 points? FRANCINE --- I witnessed to the natives in Mexico and Guatemala. HOST -- Maggie, CAN YOU BEAT THAT for 30 points? MAGGIE - (unsure) My jacket was made in Guatemala? (foghorn and person holds up “awwwww” sign) HOST -- Alright, Francine wins the third round with 20 points for a total of 110 points. (person holds up “applause” sign) So now for 10 points, our last category is.... BELIEF. (Francine starts to buzz in, then hesitates. Maggie looks at him and is bewildered at his hesitation, but quickly acts on it hitting her buzzer) Maggie! MAGGIE - I believe in Jesus and I have accepted him as my Lord and my savior. HOST -- Francine, CAN YOU BEAT THAT for 20 points? FRANCINE --- (unsure and embarrassed) No. (foghorn and person holds up “awwwww” sign) HOST -- Alright, the final score is 110 points for Francine and 10 points for Maggie. (comes over to Maggie) Michael, tell our listeners what Maggie's 10 points will win for her. ANNOUNCER --- (theme song) Maggie wins.... a beautiful home in heaven for the rest of eternity! (person holds up “applause” sign…Maggie is very excited) HOST -- And now, (comes over to Francine) Michael tell our listeners what Francine wins with her 110 points. ANNOUNCER --- Francine wins.... a pile of filthy rages and a free trip to hell! (theme song screeches across like a record then stops… person holds up “awwwww” sign) Yes, without a commitment to the Lord Jesus Christ, Francine’s works are worth no more than filthy rags. HOST -- Thank you, Michael. FRANCINE --- Hey, wait a minute. What about all the good works I did? HOST – I’m sorry Francine. But it appears that you were so busy with your “good works”, you missed the true meaning of life…the only way to heaven is to have a relationship with Jesus Christ. After all, the road to hell is paved with good intention. (starts to throw Francine offstage) FRANCINE --- Hey, this isn't fair! Give me another (now being thrown offstage) CHAAAAAANCE! HOST --- Tune in next time for another edition of CAN YOU BEAT THAT? Good night everybody! (person holds up “applause” sign…Host and Maggie both in unison throw the audience a big kiss. Theme plays.) ANNOUNCER – This has been a “Father, Son, and Holy Spirit” production. (back to the scripts page)