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Dating For Jesus Written By Sherry Marshall Characters: Vicki and Susan - two women in their late twenties/early thirties Ted - womanizer type in his thirties (Vicki is a member of a Christian singles organization called "Dating For Jesus". She has brought her friend Susan to the ‘Dating for Jesus’ office to show her around and get her to join the organization too. Setting is a table and two chairs. On the table is a profile binder/album and Susan wears a WWJD bracelet.) VICKI: OK…and this is the main living area of the office. This is where we members come to relax and check out the books and stuff. It’s open pretty late most evenings for your convenience. SUSAN: Well, the furniture is pretty nice. VICKI: Of course! They spared no expense! After all, this IS (throws hands up and declares as a southern Baptist preacher) “Dating For Jesus”! SUSAN: Well, it’s really nice, Vicki…but I’m not sure I feel all that comfortable about joining a Christian dating service. VICKI: Oh, come on Susan! It would be so much more fun if you were in the club with me. The activities are really cool and the people are very nice. Besides, it isn’t a “dating service” per se. It’s just an organization that helps put Christians together in social settings…that’s all. (elbows her) And you never know, you may meet “Mr. Right”! SUSAN: (looks at her cynically) Vicki, you know sometimes “Mr. Right” can end up being Mr. “Right Now”! VICKI: Only if you’re not in the right environment to meet the nice guys! That’s why you should join “Dating For Jesus”! There’s lots of nice guys in this organization. SUSAN: Oh, you mean like Brad? VICKI: (gives wide-eyed expression and clears throat) Well, there’s always ONE bad apple! You can’t let that spoil the WHOLE bunch! (Vicki heads for the table with the book) C’mon, take a look at the profile book. There’s lots of guys in this book that are really nice. (picks up album and begins flipping) Here ya go…Mike. He’s very nice-looking and…oh look! He likes to go to movies and play tennis, just like you do! SUSAN: (looking at profile) Yeah, and he’s also looking for a study partner for his HIGH SCHOOL science class! VICKI: (looks closer) Oh. Well…(flips some more) Here we go. Craig. Now I’ve talked to this gentleman. He’s a really nice guy. He’s funny and… SUSAN: (looking on other side of album and laughs) Check out this guy! What planet is he from! He submitted a Halloween costume picture as the photo in his profile. Where does he think that red cape is gonna get him, anyway? VICKI: (sarcastically) To the moon, I hope. That’s just Ted. You don’t wanna read about him. SUSAN: (pulls book away) Yeah I do. Let’s see…he says he predicted David over Goliath. His favorite Bible verse is in the book of…Thomas. (looks over at Vicki who shrugs) Under things he likes to do he states, “Ever try praying at a drive-in movie?” (she sits at table while giving a sarcastic laugh) Oh great! Listen to this. Things he’s looking for in a relationship…”Are you looking for an accountability partner? Me too!” (Vicki rolls her eyes) SUSAN: Other notes. Ted…”T” is for the tremendous fun you’ll have on a date with me. “E” is for the extra-special treatment you’ll get. And “D” is for the demand for a second date with me you’ll request at the end of the evening. Ted, Ted, the best in… VICKI: (takes book quickly) Ok, that’s enough of that. (laughs nervously) You know, it takes more than just a profile in a book to know what someone is really like. You have to meet them in person. That’s really the true test. (Ted enters, sees the two women and gains a more confident stride.) TED: Well, hello ladies! VICKI: (immediately shows her displeasure as she turns her face away…then turns it back with a fake smile) Hi Ted. TED: (nods towards Vicki with a grin) Vic. (Ted takes a second look at Susan who is giggling at Vicki’s reaction while flipping through the profile book. He puffs out his chest and strides over to her.) TED: I didn't believe in angels until I saw you just now. (Susan stares out wide-eyed, not looking at him) VICKI: (rolls her eyes) Oh wow! What a pick-up line! TED: (ignoring Vicki) Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven? SUSAN: (looks at him from the corner of her eye) Um…no? TED: So…do you believe in divine appointment? Because God told me to come to the office today and meet the woman of my dreams. VICKI: Oh Ted! What are you talking about? You’re always here! TED: Vicki, do you mind? You’re messing up a perfectly lovely conversation, here! SUSAN: Conversation? VICKI: Yeah, I DO mind! This is my friend Susan, and I’d prefer it if you didn’t scare her away from this organization like you did Annie! SUSAN: Annie? VICKI: (turns to her quickly) Never mind. TED: Oh, you are cold, Ecclesiastes 4:11. (turns to Susan) Is it a sin that you stole my heart? (Susan is appalled but speechless) The Bible says "Give drink to those who are thirsty, and feed the hungry"…so how about dinner? SUSAN: You know, I’ve seen your approach…now let's see your departure. (turns back to the book) TED: (laughing) There you go! Now you’re opening up…cool! So, is this seat empty? VICKI: (jumps behind Susan’s chair between them) Yeah, and this one will be too if you sit there. TED: (sitting in the chair; to Vicki) You’re such a kidder! (turns back to Susan) So…what do you think Paul meant by "Greet everyone with a kiss"? (Susan rests her head on her hand so that her face is pointed away from Ted…she is wearing a disgusted look.) TED: (sees the WWJD bracelet on her wrist) Nice bracelet. ‘What would Jesus date’? I mean "do". (Vicki rolls her eyes again and storms to other side of room folding her arms.) TED: Did I tell you that my uncle was a personal friend of Billy Graham? Says the body is like a temple, you know? SUSAN: (not looking at him) Well, there are no services today, buddy. TED: (not taking the hint) So…what are your plans for tonight? Feel like a Bible study? SUSAN: (starts to stand) I don’t think so Ted, it's just not…God's will—you and I. VICKI: (walks back over to Susan and takes her arm pulling her away) Why don’t we come back another time…maybe we could go grab a bite to eat? TED: Yeah, I’ll drive us to Sonic. I’ve got the coupons if you got the cash! SUSAN: Let’s get outta here before I feel led to “lay hands” on this jerk! (makes gesture with her fist into her palm…Vicki then pulls Susan offstage.) TED: Well, that went better than the last one. (Spots another woman in opposite direction where Susan and Vicki exited and starts that direction…) Well hello there! You know, I didn’t believe in angels until I saw you just now! (back to the scripts page)